Writing A Memoir

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You’re writing a memoir. But you’re not sure what questions or life lessons you want to focus on.

Even if only family members and friends will read the finished book, you want to make it worth their time.

  • How to Write a Memoir Step 1. Settle On Your Theme. Your unstated theme must be, “You’re not alone. That’s what appeals to readers. Select Your Anecdotes. The best memoirs let readers see themselves in your story so they can identify with your. Outline Your Book.
  • Writing the memoir is not a simple Q & A with yourself; rather, the complicated process of trying to seek the answers is what makes the memoir engaging to write, and read. Here is an example from Carlos Fuentes’ How I Started to Write.

Memoir is a three-legged stool, designed specifically to hold up your story. In other words, it has requirements – four, to be precise: your story and three others – and learning them will allow you to write this wondrous form. How to Define Memoir? “Memoir is how writers look for the past and make sense of it. We figure out who we are, who we have become, and what it means to us and to the lives of others: a memoir. But the key to writing a memoir — as with any large project — is to break it down into smaller steps. Each step is a manageable, doable task. One day at a time, each step takes you closer to your goal. Once you get going, you can also look at 12 tips on writing memoirs.

This isn’t just a whimsical collection of anecdotes from your life.

You want to convey something to your readers that will stay with them.

And maybe you want your memoir’s impact to serve as your legacy — a testament to how you made a small (or large) difference.

The collection of memoir questions in this post can help you create a legacy worth sharing.

So, if you don’t already have enough ideas for a memoir, read on.

63 Memoir Writing Prompts

Use the following questions as memoir writing exercises. Choose those that immediately evoke memories that have stayed with you over the years.

Group them by theme — family, career, beliefs, etc. — and address at least one question a day.

For each question, write freely for around 300 to 400 words. You can always edit later to tighten it up or add more content.

1. What is your earliest memory?

2. What have your parents told you about your birth that was unusual?

3. How well did you get along with your siblings, if you have any?

4. Which parent were you closest to growing up and why?

5. What parent or parental figure had the biggest influence on you growing up?

6. What is your happiest childhood memory?

7. What is your saddest or most painful childhood memory?

8. Did you have good parents? How did they show their love for you?

Writing A Memoir Outline

9. What words of theirs from your childhood do you remember most, and why?

10. What do you remember most about your parents’ relationship?

11. Were your parents together, or did they live apart? Did they get along?

12. How has your relationship with your parents affected your own love relationships?

13. Who or what did you want to be when you grew up?

14. What shows or movies influenced you most during your childhood?

15. What were your favorite books to read, and how did they influence you?

16. If you grew up in a religious household, how did you see “God”?

17. How did you think “God” saw you? Who influenced those beliefs?

18. Describe your spiritual journey from adolescence to the present?

19. Who was your first best friend? How did you become friends?

20. Who was your favorite teacher in elementary school, and why?

21. Did you fit in with any social group or clique in school? Describe your social life?

22. What were your biggest learning challenges in school (academic or social)?

23. Who was your first crush, and what drew you to them? How long did it last?

24. What was your favorite subject in school, and what did you love about it?

25. What do you wish you would have learned more about growing up?

26. What did you learn about yourself in high school? What was your biggest mistake?

27. What seemed normal to you growing up that now strikes you as messed up?

28. How old were you when you first moved away from home?

29. Who gave you your first kiss? And what do you remember most about it?

30. Who was your first love? What do you remember most about them?

31. Was there ever a time in your life when you realized you weren’t straight?

32. Describe a memorable argument you had with one of your parents? How did it end?

33. Have you lost a parent? How did it happen, and how did their death affect you?

34. What was your first real job? What do you remember most about it?

35. How did you spend the money you earned with that job?

36. At what moment in your life did you feel most loved?

37. At what moment in your life did you feel most alone?

38. What do you remember most about your high school graduation? Did it matter?

39. What’s something you’ve done that you never thought you would do?

40. What has been the greatest challenge of your life up to this point?

41. What did you learn in college that has had a powerful influence on you?

42. How has your family’s financial situation growing up influenced you?

43. How has someone’s harsh criticism of you led you to an important realization?

44. Do you consider yourself a “good person”? Why or why not?

Writing a memoir about someone else

45. Who was the first person who considered you worth standing up for?

46. If you have children, whom did you trust with them when they were babies?

47. Did you have pets growing up? Did you feel close or attached to any of them?

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48. Describe someone from your past whom you’d love to see again.

49. Do you have a lost love? If yes, describe them, how you met, and how you lost them.

50. Describe a moment when you made a fool of yourself and what it cost you.

51. What is something you learned later in life that you wish you’d learned as a child?

52. How do you want others to see you? What words come to mind?

53. What do you still believe now that you believed even as a child or as a teenager?

54. What do you no longer believe that you did believe as a child or teenager?

55. When have you alienated people by being vocal about your beliefs?

56. Are you as vocal about your beliefs as you were when you were a young adult?

57. Are you haunted by the consequences of beliefs you’ve since abandoned?

58. How have your political beliefs changed since you were a teenager?

59. Have you ever joined a protest for a cause you believe in? Would you still?

60. How has technology shaped your life for the past 10 years?

61.Has your chosen career made you happy — or cost you and your family too much?

62. What comes to mind if someone asks you what you’re good at? Why does it matter?

63. How is your family unique? What makes you proudest when you think about them?

How will you use these memoir writing prompts?

These memoir topics should get ideas flooding into your mind. All you have to do, then, is let them out onto the page. The more you write, the easier it will be to choose the primary focus for your memoir. And the more fun you’ll have writing it.

That’s not to say it’ll be easy to create a powerful memoir. It won’t be. But the more clarity you have about its overall mission, the more easily the words will flow.

Enjoy these memoir writing exercises. And apply the same clarity of focus during the editing process. Your readers will thank you.

Writing a memoir is about more than describing events that have happened in your life; it's also an exercise in writing on a theme. These three powerful memoir examples will demonstrate how to draw people into a stranger's life story. Along with our sample, they will help you craft your own memoir to engage readers and share insights from your life.

Powerful Memoir Examples

Three Memoir Examples to Inspire

A good memoir relays real-life events in an engaging way. Studying memoirs can help you write a personal essay for a college application or an assignment, and it can improve your own storytelling abilities.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is a famous memoir by poet Maya Angelou, available from Penguin Classics. It chronicles her experience of growing up amid racial bigotry and personal challenge. It's not just her heartwrenching tale but also the vivid imagery that makes it a page-turner.

The dress I wore was lavender taffeta, and each time I breathed it rustled, and now that I was sucking in air to breathe out shame it sounded like crepe paper on the back of hearses.

Guide To Writing A Memoir

Angela's Ashes

Frank McCourt's Pulitzer Prize-winning memoir, Angela's Ashes, tells the story of his upbringing in the Irish slums during the era of the Great Depression. Published by Simon and Schuster, this memoir reads like a novel as Frank somehow manages to withstand an unspeakably difficult childhood.

When I look back on my childhood I wonder how I managed to survive at all. It was, of course, a miserable childhood: the happy childhood is hardly worth your while.

All Creatures Great and Small

James Herriot's All Creatures Great and Small proves that a memoir doesn't have to deal with triumph over adversity; it can also be about finding wisdom and joy in the everyday. This beloved classic, published by MacMillan, tells the tale of Herriot's life as a country veterinarian in the Yorkshire Dales.

Writing A Memoir Middle School

I lay face down on the cobbled floor in a pool of nameless muck, my arm deep inside the straining cow, my feet scrabbling for a toe hold between the stones.

Writing a Memoir: An Example

Imagine you want to write a memoir about your experience as a shy child who had just moved to a rural community. This process can help.

List Real Life Facts

Start with a list of facts and experiences that you may want to include:

  • You had no friends except your dog.
  • Your dad left your family the previous year.
  • Your mom made you join Girl Scouts, and you needed to sell cookies door-to-door.
  • People in this town were suspicious of outsiders.
  • Because you had just joined the Girl Scouts, you didn't have very many badges yet.

Identify a Theme and Conflict

Before you begin writing, you need to know your theme. What do you want readers to learn from your memoir? You also need a central conflict. Study the types of conflicts in stories and decide which one you want to use.

  • Theme - People aren't always what they seem.
  • Conflict - You must face your fears in order to grow stronger.

Organize the Story to Build Tension

Now that you know the conflict and the theme you want the reader to understand, you need to organize the story so the tension builds toward the conflict. This is something you can do in a memoir that does not ordinarily happen in an autobiography.

In this example, you could arrange the events as follows:

  1. The Girl Scout troop leader hands out the cookies and says that if you sell 24 boxes, you will earn a badge for your uniform. You really want the badge.
  2. You load the cookies in your wagon and set off to make some sales. As you stand in front of the first house, you are afraid to knock.
  3. You remember a previous experience knocking on the door of a house and having it slammed in your face.
  4. You walk up to the house and are greeted by a grumpy old woman.
  5. You make the sale.
  6. Eventually, you receive your badge for selling 24 boxes.

Sample Memoir Excerpt

Putting all these pieces together, here is an example of how the narrative outlined above might play out in the actual text of the memoir:

The gravel crunched under the wheels of my red wagon. My father had bought it for me the week before he left us, and I'd never used it before. I hadn't wanted to use it, not even today, but I needed something to haul the cookies.

I stopped in front of Mrs. Nelson's house. I could feel her looking at me through the lace curtains, even though I couldn't see her. Now that I wasn't pulling the wagon, everything was silent. There was no wind. Even the birds had stopped their chirping. The curtain in Mrs. Nelson's front window moved a little bit.

Last year, the same month my dad had driven away, I'd had to sell chocolate bars for my old school. Dad had promised to take me, but he didn't. So while Mom was at work, I'd packed up the chocolate bars and knocked on the door across the street. When the door opened, I began to talk about my school. Before I'd even explained why I was there, the lady had slammed the door in my face. I was the only kid who didn't sell any chocolate bars that year.

Now, I took a deep breath and pulled the wagon up Mrs. Nelson's front walk. The paint was peeling on her railing, and her front door was a dirty white. I knocked, and the sound seemed to echo.

She opened the door a crack and grumbled, 'What do you want?'

Difference Between a Memoir and an Autobiography

Both memoirs and autobiographies involve a person writing about his or her own life, but that's where the similarities stop. These are a few of the key differences:

Writing A Memoir For Kids

  • Scope - An autobiography covers a set period of time in a person's life or often, the entire life. A memoir may skip around or only cover one or two events.
  • Purpose - An autobiography's purpose is to inform a reader or record events. A memoir's purpose is to explore a theme and pass on insights.
  • Length - An autobiography is generally a book-length manuscript. A memoir can be any length, from a personal essay of a few pages to an entire book.
  • Tone - Because the purpose is different, the tone may be different too. An autobiography is often more formal and factual sounding, while a memoir may employ more humor and casual writing.

How To Write A Memoir Pdf

Get Inspiration From Fiction Too

Writing A Memoir Video

Rather than just relaying the facts, a memoir is about telling a great story. It needs to have a central conflict or theme, and then arrange the story so the tension builds. In addition to reviewing memoir examples, take a look at some examples of short stories for inspiration. You'll find that even though they are factual, memoirs have a lot in common with fiction.

Writing A Memoir Graphic Organizer

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